All photos via my Tumblr ⎮ Orchid Mountains
I’m writing this post at 4:47 in the morning. I woke up at four and couldn’t fall back asleep. So I did what most single people would do. I went on Tinder. (If you’ve watched my last video, you might be shaking your head at me, but you should know that I have the willpower of a small child)
If you’ve ever spend an embarrassingly huge amount of time on Tinder, you might be able to recognize some of these frustrations:
- Stop taking shirtless mirror-selfies. That makes you look like a complete douche. If you want to let potential matches know you have abs, find another way. It’s not that hard.
- What’s up with dudes who’re wearing sunglasses on ALL of their photos? I can’t help but assume that there’s something very wrong with their eyes. And why take that risk? Swipe left.
- Receiving a so-called “Super Like”, swiping right to the guy, and never get a message from him. Isn’t that blue star supposed to indicate that he’s extra interested?! WHAT THE FUCK
- The profiles with one photo. That has two guys in it. And no description.
- This message: Hey cutie, why don’t tell me about yourself?”. NO! It’s your job to ask me about myself.
If you’re unable to read the sarcasm, this is letting you know that it’s there.